Non-domesticated Animals I Would Do Anything for to Have as Pets 📂

In honor of Draft Week (@john) I present something I made, didn't post immediately, and then scrapped once Lena Dunham made a very similar list.
  1. Panda Bear
    I don't want a PB as a pet, I want one as a roommate. Carl would be his name. Sometimes we'd just hang out and watch Chopped together. The fact that this will never happen actually makes me sad.
  2. Chimpanzee
    I'm an only child, so living with a chimp would be like having a 98% sibling. Oh the fun we'd have together! Would definitely teach her sign language and Mario Kart.
  3. Slow Loris
    After a long day at work, what could be better than coming home to this little dude? Dumped? Fired? Lose all your money in a pyramid scheme? Wouldn't matter when I saw this guy's face.
  4. Falcon
    Or a hawk - I'm not that picky. I just wanna be able to walk through WeHo with this guy on my shoulder, giving everyone the stink eye (him, not me - I'd have a huge, shit eating grin on my face.)
  5. Sea Otter
    Same effect as the Slow Loris - no day is a shitty day - but with a lot more activity. I imagine sea otters are just as playful as dogs. Mine would be, anyway. His name would be Alfie.