Places It's Appropriate to Pee According to My Girlfriend

It's amazing we're still together
  1. The toilet
  2. End of list
  3. Places I think it's appropriate to pee:
  4. The ocean
    Fish do it!
  5. A lake
    It's a HUGE body of water! What's a little pee gonna do?
  6. The woods
    Bears do it!
  7. A lazy river at a water park
    Look, you're basically just swimming in chlorine and children's pee so what's the big deal? You're already gross for being there.
  8. The shower in an emergency
    TBD what that emergency would be. For the record, I don't pee in the shower, I'm just not taking a firm stance that it's inappropriate.
  9. The snow, so long as you can spell your name
    Mainly applicable to 14 year old boys, which I happened to be once.
  10. Out my second story bedroom window in my childhood home in the country
    Do I want to walk all the way downstairs to use the bathroom? Maybe trip and die in the dark. Maybe wake the dogs. Get murdered by the boogeyman. No. This is so much more practical and safe.