Plagues of Egypt, Ranked
- •10. Thunder and HailThis just sounds romantic, actually. Curl up with your SO, sip some hot cocoa, enjoy the sounds of thunder and hail against the roof. Sign me up!
- •9. FrogsI'd welcome this! Always my favorite scene in Magnolia - looked quite fun!
- •8. Livestock DiseasedI live in LA, so between Real Food Daily, Cafe Gratitude, and Veggie Grill I'm gonna be a-okay without meat. Sorry, God. Try again.
- •7. FliesHow many flies are we talking? If it's the amount I find in the summer months, swarming around my fruit than this isn't terrible, albeit a little embarrassing if you have guests over.
- •6. GnatsSee above. Seems like God sort of ran out of ideas for plagues with this one.
- •5. LocustsAgain, God just seems lazy here. Flies, gnats, now locusts. Why not just have a plague of insects and then free up two other slots for more original plagues?
- •4. DarknessThis is just offensive to people living at extreme ends of globe, implying that total darkness is somehow a plague. If Björk can create beautiful works of art living on her little island in total darkness then I'm not sure why this plague is such an issue. Next.
- •3. BoilsAlright, we're getting to the first plague that doesn't sound fun. Ugly, painful, uncomfortable. Yes, this is indeed a plague - nice work, God.
- •2. Water to bloodIf Tank Girl taught me anything, it's that a world without water is a terrible, terrible place. (Though Water World didn't had the exact opposite problem and was still terrible...)
- •1. Death of the FirstbornNo way around it, this sucks.