Plagues of Egypt, Ranked

Finally
  1. 10. Thunder and Hail
    This just sounds romantic, actually. Curl up with your SO, sip some hot cocoa, enjoy the sounds of thunder and hail against the roof. Sign me up!
  2. 9. Frogs
    I'd welcome this! Always my favorite scene in Magnolia - looked quite fun!
  3. 8. Livestock Diseased
    I live in LA, so between Real Food Daily, Cafe Gratitude, and Veggie Grill I'm gonna be a-okay without meat. Sorry, God. Try again.
  4. 7. Flies
    How many flies are we talking? If it's the amount I find in the summer months, swarming around my fruit than this isn't terrible, albeit a little embarrassing if you have guests over.
  5. 6. Gnats
    See above. Seems like God sort of ran out of ideas for plagues with this one.
  6. 5. Locusts
    Again, God just seems lazy here. Flies, gnats, now locusts. Why not just have a plague of insects and then free up two other slots for more original plagues?
  7. 4. Darkness
    This is just offensive to people living at extreme ends of globe, implying that total darkness is somehow a plague. If Björk can create beautiful works of art living on her little island in total darkness then I'm not sure why this plague is such an issue. Next.
  8. 3. Boils
    Alright, we're getting to the first plague that doesn't sound fun. Ugly, painful, uncomfortable. Yes, this is indeed a plague - nice work, God.
  9. 2. Water to blood
    If Tank Girl taught me anything, it's that a world without water is a terrible, terrible place. (Though Water World didn't had the exact opposite problem and was still terrible...)
  10. 1. Death of the Firstborn
    No way around it, this sucks.