Sparkling Water, Ranked

This is the definitive list. I'd recommend 💾ing it for future reference
  1. 1.
    Topo Chico
    You know those insanely small and strong carbonated bubbles that make Sprite so damn refreshing? Well take those bubbles and put them in a crisp, cold bottle of water and BAM: king of sparkling water.
  2. 2.
    Jarritos
    Shout out to @bjnovak for discovering that behind this cartoonish packaging is a crisp and refreshing SW. For those keeping score, that's +2 for Mexico. "Don't drink the water" my ass...
  3. 3.
    Gerolsteiner
    Plus: bubbles that cut to the point of being dangerous. Minus: name and packaging that reminds me of 1940s Germany...
  4. 4.
    Lurisia
    I'd never had this before but I was impressed! Points scored for such a beautiful label, too!
  5. 5.
    Santa Victoria
    Had this for the first time last night and was pretty impressed! Kept its fizz long after first being opened. Take now, S. Pellegrino.
  6. 6.
    Mountain Valley
    Admittedly, I am still not sure if MVSP (Mountain Valley Sparkling Water, for those unaware) deserves the 6th place spot or if it's just so damn expensive that I've been fooled into thinking it's that good.
  7. 7.
    S. Pellegrino
    Our Italian friends are the ones supplying sparkling water to more high end restaurants, but do not be fooled: unless you're downing this bottle in under 10 minutes, it's gonna loose its bite. Points awarded for such a beautiful bottle.
  8. 8.
    Perrier
    My condolences to @Lisa_Fav and the rest of France: this blows. Don't be fooled by the fancy name or seemingly chic bottle, this beverage is FOA: flat on arrive. 1/10. Would not drink again.
  9. 9.
    Editor's Note: This list will undoubtedly cause controversy, both with the ranking of the SWs above as well as the decision to exclude certain brands. To those who say 'But what about XXXX' or 'You forget XXX' we respectfully remind you that, as stated in the intro, this is the definitive list.