Texts You Never See
Inspired by, though nowhere near as funny as @john
- •"Running 5 minutes early."
- •"I'm just going to call you to coordinate - that'll be way more efficient."
- •"This is your Uber driver, I'm in front of the wrong building 3 blocks away."
- •"Sorry it took me a few minutes to respond, I was driving."
- •"This short exchange is over, please stop responding with small talk."
- •"Saw your text literally the second you sent it and just chose not to reply."Attn: @Lauren
- •"Hey Nicholas this is Emily Mortimer - B.J. gave me your number, hope that's okay! I just think you're so sexy and was hoping I could call you every day and pontificate in my adorable accent."