1. That knows all the words to most Limp Bizkit songs
  2. Devoted to Apple key commands
  3. Dedicated to knowing the shortest routes through all the Disney parks
  4. That will never forget the name "Lori Beth Denberg"
  5. Highly attuned to Arrested Development references
  6. That knows the "Chris Gaines" is Garth Brooks' rock and roll alter-ego
  7. Optimized for quickly finding puns
  8. That stores the order of things Alanis Morisette does with her free hand
  9. Located in my cerebellum, that rolls my eyes whenever someone starts talking about astrology - I have no control over it.
  10. That maintains the image of Janet Jacksons hair in the "Together Again" music video
  11. That can repeat, verbatim, all the banter in Blink 182's live album