Things That Are *Definitely* a Lie

  1. Free Public WiFi
  2. "You have been successfully unsubscribed from this mailing list"
  3. However old Angelynne says she is
  4. "I'll be standing off to the side to make sure the film is up to Arclight standards."
  5. "Ringo is my favorite Beatle"
  6. "Your call is very important to us."
  7. "Your email must have gone to my Spam folder"
  8. "Your Uber is arriving"
  9. "You can't even taste the mustard"
    Fuck you I can't! If you put mustard on your sandwich and you can't taste it, then your mustard is broken.