- •Jerry's Famous Deli MenuI've stared at it, sure, but I was just going through the motions. For all I know there's Chinese Food hidden on the 5th page.
- •90% of the New Yorker articles I cite in conversationBut I do read 100% of the cartoon captions.
- •@EthanDawes 's script that I helped him filmSorry, dude, but it turned out well!
- •Driver's Ed. BookletI passed and haven't hit anyone, so time well saved.
- •The TorahWhich is just as well because I refused to get Bar Mitzvahed and my mom still loves me and thinks I'm God's gift to this world.
- •Becca Swor's 7th grade breakup letterShe had her friend hand it to me and I just threw it out - I knew it was coming and spared myself her criticism.
- •iTunes fine printAny fine print for that matter.
- •Any book I've ever received as a giftTwo exceptions: 1. If it's known that I want the book 2. When my girlfriend got me your book, @bjnovak but mainly because I thought the font was gonna be as big as the cover font.
- •The fwd email thread my mom sent me during the holidaysAs soon as I saw a Labrador in a Christmas sweater I stopped and responded "lol" but I lied, I didn't lol.