Read in your best Seinfeld voice.
  1. The description "ice cold"
    You see this before? A beverage claims to be "ice cold." Let me tell you something, if your drink is ice cold, it's frozen. There's something wrong with your drink. Are you with me people? There is something wrong with your drink.
  2. Apple
    iPhone. iPod. iPad. iMac... I thought they were supposed to 'think different.'
  3. New Yorkers complaining about the cold
    It's Winter!!! The Earth is tilted in such a way that you're prone to cold weather. It's been that way for thousands of years!!!
  4. Toasters
    Every product in your kitchen serves multiple purposes: stove can heat any number of items, the microwave can do the same in half the time, your fridge and your freezer will gladly accept and chill whatever you put in them but not the toaster - oh no - it says so right in the name. "This product is for making toast, only."
  5. Koala Bears
    You seen these guys? Sleeping all day in the trees... Eating eucalyptus... They're not even bears you know. They're imposters! The Koala Bear is a liar and he thinks he can get away with it cuz he's so cute.
  6. Carl's Jr.
    That's possessive. What's a junior? Who is Carl and what does his junior have to do with burgers? Is anybody getting this? Helloooo??
  7. Kelly Blue Book
    Who's Kelly, anyway? Is Kelly interested in buying my '98 Civic? Is Kelly prepared to offer me the $1,300 she so definitively claims it to be worth? No? Then I don't care about your book, Kelly.
  8. Throw Pillows
    Rough fabric. Over-stuffed. No give. Yeah, I think I'll *throw* this away.