1. The Repubelican Primary: an orgy consisting of more than 20 white men.
  2. Police Dashcram: film yourselves and then re-watch it with disgust.
  3. The Iran Nuclear Squeal: keep your fingers crossed you can finish before one of you explodes.
  4. Cumfederate Flag: Complain every time you go south on your partner.
  5. The Trump Dump: Mix seminal fluids and fecal matter together and then watch it run for president.