1. I would hope to do it in some classy Hannibal Lecter way
  2. A real experience ya know? not just a dinner
  3. Paired with the perfect wine
  4. Not standing over the sink in my boxer shorts
  5. I would want to invite distinguished guests
  6. I would have a seating chart worked out weeks in advance
  7. Boy girl boy girl arrangement to promote the right conversation
  8. I heard that in a movie once
  9. I'd have a host meet guests in the foyer with champagne
  10. They would announce each arrival like in a Marx Brothers movie
  11. Prince this and Duke and Duchess that
  12. I would engage the room with insights on Renaissance music and Modern Art
  13. And pass around starters that invoke both
  14. Then we'd sit and have the most splendid three courses
  15. We'd eat for at least 3 hours
  16. An after, the men would push back their chairs and loosen their belts
  17. And the women would sit back and fan themselves, all totally satisfied
  18. And they'd all compliment the host and demand my recipes, and I'd make up some fake ingredient
  19. But only I would really know
  20. Over time it would eat away at me though, the knowing
  21. And I would confess to anyone who would listen
  22. But no one would believe me
  23. So I would have to do it again
  24. And that is how it will begin.