WAYS TO SAVE THE BASSOON

Studies show that the Bassoon, or rather "Bassoonists" have become endangered, and moves are being made to promote the instrument to be picked up by and preserved by younger generations. Here's some ideas on how to save the Bassoon.
  1. Start seating the Bassoon section front and center at the Symphony.
    No respectable person wants to be back there with the French Horns. Nerds play French Horn.
  2. Recut Woodstock film to show Jimi Hendrix hammering out the National Anthem behind his back on a Bassoon.
  3. Extended scene in next Fast and Furious movie where stereo equipment is Bassoon tested with Stravinsky mp3s.
  4. Write in "comedy fart sounds for Bassoon" to all famous public domain scores
  5. New James Bond theme by famous Bassoonist Volodymyr Apatsky
    Featuring Iggy Azalea
  6. In the new season of Girls, Hannah gives up writing to pursue passion for playing the Bassoon
    Just an idea @lenadunham
  7. First 1000 people into the Metropolitan Opera house get free Bassoon, are encouraged to play along during performance of Faust
    Let's hope 1000 people show up, we could be stuck with a lot of extra Bassoons
  8. Replace next years Shark Week with equally uneventful Bassoon Week
  9. Smear campaign shows Viola as sympathizer of Confederate States rights to fly flag in courthouses
    This will not help the Bassoon cause. Just a stab at "musicians" who play Viola.
  10. Next months Cosmo cover story: "5 Baroque ornamentations for Bassoon that will drive him wild"