JOBS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED FROM

  1. My first job (camp counselor)
    I was oblivious to the fact that my 13 year old campers were playing a game called SPD (sex positions in the dark) and were spraying whip cream on places 13 year olds should not have whip cream. Side note: I didn't know what sex was when I was 13.
  2. A door girl at a cinema arts centre
    Because one time I shit explosively and clogged the toilet, causing it to flood the floor. I blamed it on an elderly movie-goer.
  3. The cinema again
    Because one time my boss called her son Dylan "Dildo" as a nickname by accident and then I did too...
  4. My current job (if we're being honest I don't quite know what I do)
    Because I steal toilet paper from the office
  5. My current job again
    because one time after my boss left I printed out 6 pages of pierced nipples for my friend's art project
  6. My current job again
  7. In conclusion:
    Every job I've ever had