THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY THUS FAR THAT GIVE INSIGHT INTO MY LIFE

  1. 1.
    Woke up too late and had to choose between showering and eating
  2. 2.
    I ate
  3. 3.
    Then I packed snacks
  4. 4.
    I probably could have showered in the time it took me to pack snacks
  5. 5.
    I was still late to work even though I went in at 12pm today
  6. 6.
    On my way to work I pretended like the sidewalk was a runway and the cars were the audience
  7. 7.
    I got cat-called and wondered what that man saw in me
  8. 8.
    Was it my saggy disastrous ass or my pants falling down below my muffin top?
  9. 9.
    Wore my shirt inside out to work
  10. 10.
    Failed to change my shirt for an hour even though I knew it was inside out
  11. 11.
    Actually still haven't changed it
  12. 12.
    Approximately 1 hour after this list was posted, both of my coworkers commented on my inside-out shirt.