Reasons Why My Dogs Are Assholes

  1. They are so smart the refuse to listen.
    At times I call my dog Bailey to come inside, and she chooses to ignore me.
  2. They have a licking problem. They will lick and lick any fabric surface until there is an apparent wet mark....
  3. They think they are the boss of me.
  4. They rely on me for food, and yet they still think they own me.
  5. I tried to lock them out of my bedroom once. They barked and scratched at the door all night.
  6. Even though my dogs are assholes, I still want a puppy.
  7. They have ZERO problems with insomnia