FIGHTS I'VE LOST TO MY WIFE

  1. How many of these cookies I should eat right now
    I'm so angry that my pants still fit. I wanted new pants!
  2. She said I'd really like Veronica Mars
    And now I'm binge watching I Zombie.
  3. You should join Instagram
    ...and now I've posted 200+ more photos than she. But, at what cost? I could have been doing something meaningful with my time.
  4. Hey I think we should get a dog
    ...and I'm now so happy I'm not picking up dog poop every day