1. I am a direct product of these two kids, who were far too young to get married.
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  2. But oh boy, did they know how to make a cute kid.
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  3. Then I got a little awkward, but my self-esteem did not waiver.
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  4. I bounced back okay in high school, but those pointy little buds would be all that popped out until my 30's.
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  5. My sisters and I are about the same height as our father.
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  6. Our mother isn't much shorter and LOVES anyone who thinks she might be another sister.
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  7. She is also friends with Lorraine Warren though, so BE CAREFUL.
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  8. I spent my teenage years as a serious rock star, but I would have been way more successful if I did drugs and stayed awake.
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  9. I moved to California to be warm and myself.
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  10. My hair is naturally curly. But this is an exaggeration.
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  11. Sometimes I dress in drag. It always involves a mustache.
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  12. Mostly though, I walk around in lingerie. I have done this since my childhood, but thankfully my parents didn't take pictures of it then.
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  13. I am VERY allergic to pets. Check out the rash rising on my chest (also, praise the Lord, the buds finally blossomed)!
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  14. I am quite unpleasant before I have had coffee in the morning.
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  15. I spent three days filming a golf commercial once. This is the clip that made the cut.
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  16. I love strong, awesome women, like this doll. Also, red checkered tablecloths and Italian food make me feel at home.
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  17. But deep inside, I am a GANGSTER.
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