MY LIFE IN PICTURES FROM MY PHONE

  1. I am a direct product of these two kids, who were far too young to get married.
  2. But oh boy, did they know how to make a cute kid.
  3. Then I got a little awkward, but my self-esteem did not waiver.
  4. I bounced back okay in high school, but those pointy little buds would be all that popped out until my 30's.
  5. My sisters and I are about the same height as our father.
  6. Our mother isn't much shorter and LOVES anyone who thinks she might be another sister.
  7. She is also friends with Lorraine Warren though, so BE CAREFUL.
  8. I spent my teenage years as a serious rock star, but I would have been way more successful if I did drugs and stayed awake.
  9. I moved to California to be warm and myself.
  10. My hair is naturally curly. But this is an exaggeration.
  11. Sometimes I dress in drag. It always involves a mustache.
  12. Mostly though, I walk around in lingerie. I have done this since my childhood, but thankfully my parents didn't take pictures of it then.
  13. I am VERY allergic to pets. Check out the rash rising on my chest (also, praise the Lord, the buds finally blossomed)!
  14. I am quite unpleasant before I have had coffee in the morning.
  15. I spent three days filming a golf commercial once. This is the clip that made the cut.
  16. I love strong, awesome women, like this doll. Also, red checkered tablecloths and Italian food make me feel at home.
  17. But deep inside, I am a GANGSTER.