Tinder Rules to Follow to Get Me to Swipe Right for You

I'm not into this for a one-night stand. I'd ACTUALLY like to on a date with you and get to know you. I use this app the find ladies to date. Also I use these rules for my own profile and I think they work for all sexes.
  1. 1.
    Include your real age.
    It just makes it easier for all of us. And you CAN change it.
  2. 2.
    No blurry photos.
    THIS is how you advertise yourself? With a blurry photo on an app designed to judge you based on looks? If someone can't see your face they think there's a reason why.
  3. 3.
    No group photos.
    I get that you want to show how fun you are but I want to date you, not 5 strangers. Also, if they are all group shots how do I tell which one is you?
  4. 4.
    Don't have a drink in every photo.
    I get it, you party. But put the fucking rum down for one booze-free pic so I don't think you're an alcoholic.
  5. 5.
    Limit yourself to one "selfie".
    An all-selfie selection of photos makes you look vain.
  6. 6.
    Change up your facial expressions.
    Nothing is less attractive or more concerning than someone having the same face in every photo.
  7. 7.
    Include full body photos.
    Are you just a head?
  8. 8.
    Limit to one pet photo.
    I do not want to date your dog. I also envision moments when your dog might not be on the date. I get that you love your dog, but let's leave him/her out of every photo.
  9. 9.
    Fill out some information.
    Take 30 seconds and write something in the blank space. Are you funny? Are you a robot? Blank profiles are sketchy.
  10. 10.
    If you include your height in your profile description I assume you want someone taller.
    I don't care how tall you are. But if you include your height in your profile description I assume that anyone shorter than you can take a hike, so I do.
  11. 11.
    What the fuck is the big deal about paddle boards?
    Does everybody have one? Has everybody written one? Paddle boards are the new tiger, I guess.