(My Top Five) Funniest Things That Ever Happened to Me
Sorry @celestestelle, I had to cut it down to 5 because I'm super boring, and it's taking me forever to write this. 😔 The other 5 had themes of vomit and nudity, so they weren't really share-worthy. 😳
- •The time I threw up on myself on "the octopus".I was a kid, but I don't remember how old I was, but I remember I had eggs and pancakes for breakfast, and corn dogs and funnel cake for lunch. Not pretty. It was at the "Fall Festival" in the small town I grew up in, so pretty much everyone I knew saw it happen.
- •The time I fell down the stairs at Lambeau Field.I was super drunk. Like holy shitsnacks drunk. I rolled that entire distance on concrete, but didn't feel a thing. I was really sad about spilling my nachos though, so the nice lady in the row behind us bought me new nachos. We were in row 3 and I wasn't about to walk up those stairs again until the game was over! 😄
- •The time I got a backwards tattoo.See this list for the full story: The story of my tattoo 😕
- •The times I fell out of golf carts.Yep, a golf cart two-fer. One was at a charity playday, where I started pounding Bloody Mary's at 5 am. I was passengering, badly. I leaned out to grab my ball while my super drunk golf partner was driving...Thud! The other was when a different drunk dude was driving. He flipped the cart and spilled the clubs and us. Surprisingly I wasn't kicked out of either course.
- •Bonus: The time I got hit in the junk with a rope. 😱While typing this list, I took a break to play with the dog. Shit got out of control as it does, and I hit myself in the "man zone" with a damn rope!