Passive aggressive Thank You cards I'd like to give to my next door neighbors.
I sound like the "get off my lawn" guy, but they really are awful. Just a little rant to blow off some steam.
- •Thanks for constantly asking me for tools.I'm really glad that I spent a ton of money on tools when I bought this house so that you could borrow them and forget to return them. I especially like it when you come over to ask for them when I'm working.
- •Thanks for not respecting boundaries.I really love it when your unsupervised grandchildren come into my yard and antagonize my dog when I'm not looking. I'm really looking forward to when you sue me when one of those little fuckers gets bit.
- •Thank you so much for your lovely lawn decorations!I especially like the broken down car and the rusted out swingset, which by the way is halfway in MY FUCKING YARD!
- •Thanks for making my eyes want to vomit!It's really great how you chose to get the smallest garbage can that the disposal company offers even though you have 4 very large adults living in your house. I love the smell of rotting McDonald's grease wafting over to my house because your fucking garbage can is constantly overflowing.
- •Thanks for not teaching your children manners, making them wonderful adults.After the snow melted this year, I sure did enjoy spending two hours picking up a winter's worth of their cigarette butts that they flicked into my yard. I hope you enjoyed how I put them all in a bucket and placed it in front of your door.
- •Thanks for making me have to buy ANOTHER fence!Apparently I wasn't clear when I flat out said that I put Archer's fence way inside the property line because I didn't want people messing with it or him. We have big yards so the privacy fence that I have to put up now is going to be pretty expensive. It will be worth it to not have to look at your garbage and keep you terrible people away from me. And for the last time, my dog's name is ARCHER not Archie!!!