Thanks, but no thanks, MJ.
  1. Patches O'Houlihan-Dodgeball
    "I don't have to drink my own urine, but it's sterile and I like the taste!" This inspirational coach took a team that lost to a bunch of girls counts and got them to a American Dodgeball Association of America championship in a few short weeks. Using enhanced training methods and tough love, this man earned himself the top spot on this list. RIP Patches.
  2. Danny O'Shea-Little Giants
    "Ya play football because ya wanna. Ya play football cause it's fun." Danny O'Shea is second on the list for the same reason that Patches is first: he coached a team of losers to an improbable win. Not only were his training methods odd, but effective; but he also gave a rousing half time speech. He steps out of his brother Kevin's shadow and beats him once again, this time on my list.
  3. Gordon Bombay-The Mighty Ducks
    This big time lawyer is one of the most accomplished coaches on this list. To avoid jail time due to a tragic DUI arrest, Bombay fulfilled his community service by coaching the unwanted Ducks to a district title. He then coached major underdogs team USA to a gold metal at the Junior Goodwill Games. A very impressing coaching résumé. The one coaching move that got him so high on the list has to be when he managed to acquire Adam Banks to the Ducks in the first movie. A genius acquisition.
  4. Bill Yoast-Remember the Titans
    "They will remember, forever, the night they played the Titans." Yoast finds himself just above his head coach on this list because he was willing to step down to assistant coach, and that shows some real character. Yoast was obviously a damn good coach before, as he was up for the Virginia Football Hall of Fame, so winning a state Title with the first integrated high school in Virginia. Very impressive.
  5. Herman Boone-Remember the Titans
    "We gone change the way we talk, change the way we walk, change the way we block, change the way we tackle, and change the way we win." Boone is next on this list, right behind Yoast, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. Not only did he coach the team to the State Title, but he also brought a community together around them on the way. I gotta go watch Remember the Titans again.
  6. Lou Brown-Major League
    Lou was one of the best motivators in sports movie history. He took a team destined to finish last to their first pennant in 30 years, beating the hated Yankees on the way. Brown fought with ownership all season and was a players' manager through and through. That, along with his zany personality, gets him to 6 on this list.
  7. Phil Brikma-Major Leagues
    "Let the big dog eat!" This guy was an all-time sports movie character. He overcame his goofiness and dull-mind to coach 3rd base for the Cubs. That's an impressive accomplishment.
  8. Micky Goldmill-Rocky
    "There's only one thing ya can do Rocky. Win." "Well what're we waitin' for?!" This guy trained the greatest heavyweight champion of all time, which alone gets him on this list. Another great motivator with odd training techniques, Mick knew how to get Rocky fired up. If he was alive for Rocky in his fight against Ivan Drago, Rocky would've won in the first round. Micky was THAT good. RIP Micky.
  9. Chubbs Peterson-Happy Gilmore
    A respectable number 9 for Chubbs on a list where you knew he just had to show up. He taught Happy Gilmore that golf was a game played between the ears, as well as everything he knew about putting. RIP Chubbs.
  10. Phil Weston-Kicking and Screaming
    The biggest upset on the list comes in at number ten, with nutty Phil Weston sneaking onto the list. He's here because of his zany antics and friendship with all-time great coach, Mike Ditka. Phil's recruiting of the Italians and coffee induced energy led a lowly group of losers to the championship again a team coached by his own father; and a team that also featured his half-brother, Bucky. For that, Phil steals the 10 spot.