HOW TO GET FIRED FROM YOUR JOB IN STYLE; THE SECRET MANIFESTO

Until now, these strategies have been hidden. Help the world and ADD ONE TO THE LIST. Be creative. We're counting on you... Are you up for the task?
  1. Wear this and scream "I'm so confused" until they fire you. If it takes days, do it. That's commitment right there.
  2. Dress up as a raccoon and set your tail on fire in the office. Don't act surprised. Act excited. When your boss starts screaming, pull out a bag of nuts and start eating them. Ignore the fire. The last step is critical. You must ignore the fire. Trust the process.
  3. Stand at the Coffee machine. When someone fills their cup, pick up the cup. Then spike the cup. Say nothing. When they try again with a new cup, look them dead in the eye and state "Ima let you finish, but..." Then spike the coffee again. Repeat as long as necessary.
  4. Dress as Andy from Toy Story and refuse to speak. Go about your business, completing work as normal. Refuse to speak until you're fired (bonus: stare at people and when they acknowledge you, simply nod and look away)
  5. Mass email the company well-written memos suggesting Surge be added as the company's official beverage. Send one email daily until you're fired.