A CHINESE AMERICAN WHO CAN'T SPEAK CHINESE MEETS A VERY SMALL CHINESE CHILD WHO ONLY SPEAKS CHINESE

  1. I saw him at the thanksgiving party but he decided to talk to me at this Christmas party
  2. I think he kept calling me auntie I'm not sure
  3. Who's kid is this even I have no idea
  4. He just kept making sounds that meant nothing to me
  5. I kept saying yeah and sure and cool when he would pause and stare at me and then he said I don't understand you so this kid doesn't even speak English where did he come from who brought him here
  6. I think one time he asked what I was doing on my phone so I showed him an Instagram ad of cate blanchett with some perfume and then he said more words I couldn't understand
  7. I took Chinese lessons for years and then I got bored and quit and now I can't even hold a conversation with a child
  8. I feel vaguely small and inadequate
  9. But whatever were going to see the hateful eight in that special 70 millimeter thingy tomorrow and I'm pumped
  10. I also snuck a fair amount of wine into my mouth bc no one was paying attention and it makes me feel warm and sleepy even tho it tastes gross