WHAT I THINK ABOUT WHENEVER SOMEONE MENTIONS THAT DUMB PENGUIN MOVIE SURF'S UP

  1. 6th grade, math class, watching Surf's Up because it's the end of the school year and who gives a shit about anything anymore
  2. That penguin who's won a lot of surfing competitions is showing off his collection of trophies which he refers to as "his ladies" to show he's that big of a d-bag by literally objectifying women
  3. Soft music that came straight from a badly lit amateur porno starts playing as he presents each trophy with a deep, husky (creepy) voice
    "This is Jill"/ "This is my lady Amy"/ "Shaniqua"/ "Therera. This is Theresa right here...dirty girl."
  4. He then points to this empty spot and says, "This spot? This spot is for my special lady...Liya."
  5. ALL EYES IN THE ROOM ARE ON ME
    Do you remember how badly you didn't want people to look at you in 6th grade? I do.
  6. "I'm going to say that one more time. Liya. Ohhh yeah that's a sweet, sweet lady."
    The name written on the script was surely "Leah" or maybe "Lia" but it might as well have been "Liya" considering the very personal hot surge of embarrassment I felt.
  7. Everyone snickers and giggles. My teacher makes some sarcastic but lighthearted remark. I don't say anything and look down at my empty desk.
  8. The moment passes quickly but the redness in my face does not.
    6th grade Liya could not take a joke.
  9. So that was one of the most embarrassing moments I've ever endured, and I've had a lot.
    Although most of them don't involve being sexualized by a penguin.
  10. If that happened now I think I'd just groan and laugh along with everyone else, so at least I've made substantial progress with my crippling self consciousness! 🙃
  11. I'd also laugh cause, who am I kidding, Surf's Up is one of the greatest movies of all tiiiiiiiiiiimmmeee brah
    🐧+🏄🏻=❤️