YOUR FORTUNE IN 2016, ACCORDING TO THIS CHINESE ZODIAC CALENDAR

  1. Every year my parents get a calendar from some company they buy their restaurant stuff from. It is VERY Chinese.
    And each month features a fairly well translated fortune for each zodiac animal. I'm not sure what fortune teller wrote these, but I'm sure they're very reputable!
  2. Monkey
    Better watch your backs, monkeys.
  3. Rooster
    Cash liquidity crisis? Oh no!
  4. Dog
    Dogs have a lot on their plates this year.
  5. Boar
    You'll get a lot of money but also lose a lot of money?
  6. Rat
    *Never* break the law.
  7. Ox
    I guess tie the "knots" means we're all polygamists now?
  8. Tiger
    Tigers might as well stay in bed for the year.
  9. Rabbit
    Just regret. Nothing else.
  10. Dragon
    Take it easy AND take on a huge workload.
  11. Snake
    Just keep all your stuff hidden and they'll never get stolen!
  12. Horse
    Be competent, basically.
  13. Sheep
    Gobble gobble.