1. Every year my parents get a calendar from some company they buy their restaurant stuff from. It is VERY Chinese.
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    And each month features a fairly well translated fortune for each zodiac animal. I'm not sure what fortune teller wrote these, but I'm sure they're very reputable!
  2. Monkey
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    Better watch your backs, monkeys.
  3. Rooster
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    Cash liquidity crisis? Oh no!
  4. Dog
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    Dogs have a lot on their plates this year.
  5. Boar
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    You'll get a lot of money but also lose a lot of money?
  6. Rat
    68778844 43c1 49a0 bc5c dee8ee6f2347
    *Never* break the law.
  7. Ox
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    I guess tie the "knots" means we're all polygamists now?
  8. Tiger
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    Tigers might as well stay in bed for the year.
  9. Rabbit
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    Just regret. Nothing else.
  10. Dragon
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    Take it easy AND take on a huge workload.
  11. Snake
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    Just keep all your stuff hidden and they'll never get stolen!
  12. Horse
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    Be competent, basically.
  13. Sheep
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    Gobble gobble.