In what strange and hilarious ways did you view the world as a tot?
  1. Tornadoes were the biggest threat to my safety.
    I live in northern Utah. Tornadoes aren't a "thing" here.
  2. Tarantulas were the second biggest threat to my safety.
    Once again, not a thing where I live.
  3. I could accidentally cross my eyes while I was sleeping and they would remain stuck that way.
    I had to periodically open my eyes every 30 seconds until I fell asleep just to make sure I wasn't cross-eyed.
  4. To get a baby, all one has to do is go to the hospital and pick one out.
    In my mind's eye, they were most likely kept in buckets in a very large room.