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The following are intense, depraved, obscure and nasty wet dreams
  1. The type of wet dream where you cum through the stitching on your Levi's
  2. The type of wetdream where you can't look your dog and peanut butter the same way
  3. It involves a cornfed delis mouse, a Swedish nun, a trycle, cold cuts, a jersey truck stop and my grandmother
5 more...
I just got back from the SLS championship
  1. My hotel for 3 days in Hollywood
  2. Holding a trophy cuz I 9 club life
  3. My Entourage!
3 more...
  1. An under rated heavy weight of comedy!
  2. Some introspection into the world of man. Should compliment Tim Allen well
  3. An editor for the sanjuan star. His memoirs.
  1. You threatened Hilary Clinton with an ambiguous 2nd amendment joke.
  2. You continued your barrage of the Khan family
  3. You got rid of teleprompters
  4. You are still the republican presidential nominee
Last night the legendary muppet stole the show @midnight please join li.st!
  1. His PG punchlines are great
  2. His meme ideas will be legendary
  3. Wacka Wacka is still funny
In a production meeting I meet this cool band with a problem. They needed a photo shoot and I'm a comedian with a brand new Panasonic g7 camera. Here's the results
  1. Found a cool sculpture for " band poses"
  2. Did an open field sequence shot. I told them all "walk like in a Tarantino movie!"
  3. They make look serious but they are funny guys with lame hairdos
2 more...
My newest follower recognizes how blatant the media is and how great I am
  1. I've made list about things the @thedailyshow should be covering
    Forget the nominee race how about the whopper dog!
  2. I'm a law school graduate turned comedian
    If anyone has the chops to mock the economy and the current debt crisis of Puerto Rico it's the law school graduate 80k in debt turned comedian
  3. I read his book!
    How to think like a billionaire! Brilliant!
2 more...
The current Donald Drumpf race and transgendered rights are center stage but...
  1. The Puerto Rican Debt crisis
    70 billion dollar debt crisis. A planned fiscal control board lowering minimum wage and non represented AMERICAN citizens in congress.
  2. The closure of borders to Cuban immigrants in Panama
    Drugs and a possible cartel fights. And underground rail road of drugs from Panama to Mexico
  3. The new whopper dog
    What! I gotta know about this new food item
2 more...
  1. 1.
    I spent 3 months in Barcelona
    Seeing ridiculous skateboarding going unnoticed and unsponsored I became aware of the odds
  2. 2.
    My neighbor was Nyjah Huston
    Even though he was the 12 yr old super prodigy his 14 yr old brother was also insanely good
  3. 3.
    Lack of switch tricks
    Ohh this would shame me in games of skate
I went to law school and he was displeased he wanted me to be a....
  1. A foreign intelligence operative
  2. A commissioned intelligence asset
  3. A international high level exigent circumstance responder
2 more...