Reasons My Neighbors Want Me to Hate Them

  1. 1.
    They don't mow their lawn for 10 years at a time.
    Have you ever wanted to experience malaria but can't afford to travel to the Philippines? Look no further than my neighbor's rain forest of a backyard!
  2. 2.
    They're urban farmers
    My sister once found our neighbor's rooster sitting on the hood of her car. It was just staring at her menacingly. It was like the dance fight from the "Beat It" video.
  3. 3.
    They have no respect for history
    Last week they felt the need to cut down the oldest and most majestic oak tree on the block! I look forward to watching your lawn get fried crispy this summer without all that beautiful shade.
  4. 4.
    They're driveway blockers
    YOU HAVE YOUR OWN DRIVEWAY GARY!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PARK RIGHT IN FRONT OF MINE?!?!