I'm a crazy cat lady, sure. But I think there's an underground social meowdia platform where #SuckerLadyIn417 is permanently trending.
  1. I have 4 cats already
    Four cats is a lot. I used to have 6 (see above re: trending) and am now down to 4. Ideally, I never want more than 2 at a time. I'm already guaranteed to never get laid again with 4.
  2. I feed one stray regularly.
    She likes it outside, is sweet, feral to all but me, but doesn't come inside and is therefore not officially my cat. Shut up.
  3. I feed another semi-regularly.
    Another feral to all but me, but a quintessential tomcat who shows up when he wants to, doesn't come inside, and therefore is not officially my cat. Hush.
  4. Kitten is wee-tiny-young.
    My 4 are all over five years old. A six week old kitten is a whole different ballgame.
  5. Young Kitten is wee-tiny.
    All of my cats are large. Two top 20 lbs. Kitten could easily end up a battered toy if mine decide to be assholes.
  6. Kitten would require vetting.
  7. Kitten would inevitably piss my clowder off and there would be guilt trips galore.
    I can't handle cat-guilt.
  8. I just can't.
    Look, sure, I kinda want to. But I can't, okay? I can't!