1. Tylenol P.O.'d
    Tylenol + indica.
  2. Breathe Rite Strips, but for your eyes during a staff meeting.
  3. Caffeine Puffs
    Have we not solved this already? Don't make me choose every morning!
  4. Teflon OTC
    Allows food to flow seamlessly from mouth to toilet without fat, sugar, or nutritional intake.
  5. Tylenol Hangover Triple-Release
    For post-binge: capsule releases acetaminophen and another capsule which, in turn, releases more acetaminophen and a third capsule that releases even more acetaminophen over an 8-hour period.
  6. Speed Stick Scratch 'n Sniff Formula
    Just trust me, this plays to my strengths.