1. "For those who were traumatized by my perm of the early aughts, I'm sorry."
  2. "For those just now realizing that Friends With Benefits was a cash grab, my sincerest apologies."
  3. "For those unable to unsee the wardrobe malfunction that I may or may not have been a willing participant in, my bad."
  4. "For those who thought 'Bring it on down to [whatever]ville' was funny at first, but have grown tired of it now, I feel you."
  5. "For all the times I've appropriated black music for my own personal gain...what? C'mon now, people are people. I just sing what I know. This is me, y'all."