[🖐🏽] OTHER NARRATIVES TAYLOR AND I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO BE EXCLUDED FROM

I think I can safely speak for #Twifddleston and myself when I say that, aside from this most recent kerfuffle, we are also done with the drama and character assassination associated with the following. #Pete
  1. My office's NCAA tournament pool
    THE FIRST TIME, this was sorta fun. But now Sondra in reception always wins just by picking straight, based on team seeding. She hates basketball.
  2. My office's birthday-card-signing rotation
    You know what? I'll just say happy birthday on my own time, thanks. If I remember.
  3. My office's kitchen-cleaning schedule
    I use ONE SPOON. I clean it, and put it back in the drawer. Doug has a four-course Italian meal for lunch and just dumps his shit right in the sink.
  4. My office's Bring Your Dog to Work Day
    I have a cat. The world's most handsome cat. No, I would not like to borrow your ugly dog during my webinar.
  5. My office's Spirit Week
    Oh, I can wear "flippy sandals" with business-appropriate skirts and pants? That sounds terrible.
  6. My office's fire drills
    Listen for the alarm. Know where the exits are. Test the door handle. Get low. Got it. No, I'm not going out to the flagpole. I'm going to finish this report now, SONDRA.