1. Twitter: "Oh, 140 characters isn't good enough for me! I'm an ENGLISH MAJOR." Why can't you just spill out your lists over a confusing number of tweets like the rest of us?
  2. Facebook: How is your mother ever going to read this?
  3. Tinder: No, No, No, Maybe, No...
  4. Instagram: A GIF look-up? Just post your own shitty food and sunset pics, n'kay?
  5. WUPHF.com: Fuck off, @bjnovak.
  6. Wunderlist: Pssshhht. Good luck getting your grocery shopping done, NARCISSISTS.
  7. Reddit: Uh-oh, all the wordy SJWs found a new home away from Tumblr. #MAGA
  8. Tumblr: Hey, where'd everybody go?
  9. MySpace: This looks cool.
  10. Medium: We got drafts.