[🌽] REQUEST: CONFESSIONS FROM THE MIDWEST

  1. We're not sure what jerky is, either.
  2. We love to tell people that "we grow the world's food," but the majority of the corn we grow is just inedible cow feed fattener or gasoline additive.
  3. Angels in the pews, devils on the stools.
  4. We're not sure what "git 'er done" means, either.
  5. We're so nice to everyone because we don't realize how cruel this cold world is, really.
  6. We're a *little* proud of coming up with Meth.
  7. We'd all rather live in California, honestly.
  8. Your mom would rather you marry one of us.
  9. You're welcome for having us fight all the wars for you.
  10. Still better than Florida.