THINGS I AM BAD AT
- •BowlingIt's my kryptonite.
- •Singing only one harmony in a songIf there's a melody, I'm singing it. An instrumental part? Singing that too.
- •Understanding why people think there is a better cake flavor than chocolate"Do you want carrot cake for your birthday?" Here's a question - why the fuck would I put carrots in a cake when, instead, I could NOT put carrots in the cake AND have chocolate in the cake?
- •Pretending I think something is funnyI don't have a fake laugh yet, so I kind of go "hmmk!" with a vaguely amused tone and smile a little bit.
- •Controlling my laughter when I really do think something is funnySome things hit me just the right way and I can barely move for the next five minutes while I finish laughing. The other day my Dad asked me if I use shortcuts on my typewriter. He meant iPhone keyboard, and something about that mistake made me laugh uproariously for an inappropriately long time. I tend to keep laughing well past when other people are ready to move on. Oh well.
- •Estimating distanceI know 100 yards is a football field, and I know about what a foot is, but if people ask me if something is half an inch long or a quarter of an inch long, I go "yeah," and they're like "which one?" And I'm like "Yeah somewhere in there" and then they kind of look at me like they asked if something was a yard long or an inch long and I gave the same response.
- •Estimating time"How long did you spend on Facebook today?" "I don't know, like 5 minutes?" "Actually about 7 hours."