THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ME PUT MY DAD IN A HOME
Make no mistake, this will not be a white collar resort nursing home. This will be a federal, pound me in the - well, you get the picture. THIS IS NOT A COMPLETE LIST.
- •Thinking a "breadstick sandwich" was a large breadstick, with a regular sized breadstick and marinara sauce inside.
- •Using the phrase, or variations of the phrase, "I'm getting the band back together."
- •Confusing an iPhone keyboard with a typewriter.
- •Wearing shorts always, despite wind/rain/snow/sleet/hail/etc.
- •Wearing short shorts
- •Suggesting using Comic Sans, unless instructing a young girl on what font to use for her essay about unicorns being the cutest animal
- •Buying Oreo Thins
- •Buying Golden Oreos
- •Buying Golden Oreo Thins
- •Making references to thongs
- •Holding his phone arm's length away from his face, eyebrows raised and eyes wide, trying to read a textExpedited sending-to-a-home for opening mouth and typing with a pointer finger to reply to said text
- •Use the phrase "get jiggy with it."
- •Attempt to rewind a DVD once he's done watching it
- •Revert to using a flip phone
- •Suggest that the world was better in any way before widely available high speed internet was available
- •Buying an artificial Christmas tree