For the uninitiated, immediately listen to Dan Mintz - "The Stranger"
  1. "Abort! Abort!"
  2. "I'd be happy with just one of those."
  3. "Are you going to rape me?"
  4. "I use the jawbone for a knife."
  5. "I needed the outlet for my laptop."
  6. "She was dressed as a disgusting old woman."
  7. "What the world really needs right now is for aliens to invade."
  8. "I was wearing it the whole time."
  9. "Flowers have the worst sex life."
  10. "Maybe I work in mysterious ways."
  11. "It turns out they only give legitimate massages at West Valley Hospital Chiropractic Clinic."
  12. "To this day, he still will not walk into a gas chamber."
  13. "I immediately started taking rights away from gay people"
    Suggested by @Nicholas