A Comprehensive List of my Skills

I'm turning 29 soon and with that comes that unavoidable question: What have I done with my life? So I decided to compile a list of the things I'm good at. The results were... less than reassuring.
  1. Acting antisocial in social situations
  2. Acting social in antisocial situations
  3. Making strangers uncomfortable
  4. Knowing when my roommate needs to use the bathroom based in his facial expression
  5. Being annoyingly observant
  6. Waking up my sleeping daughter, but only when I am making an effort to be quiet.
  7. Breaking my toes on every piece of furniture in the house.
  8. Wasting an my entire day away on Reddit
  9. Typing 100 words per minute
  10. Breaking phone chargers
  11. The ability to burn nearly anything I cook
  12. Making an awesome quesadilla (when I manage not to burn it)
  13. Never getting enough sleep
  14. Unskilled labor
  15. Memorizing the lyrics to annoying kids songs
  16. Losing myself in daydreams while putting off my responsibilities
  17. Memorizing wrestlers finishing moves
  18. Smoking way too many cigarettes