The reason this show is so hilarious is because the plot line is so amazingly absurd, and its cast of comedic geniuses lends itself to some fantastic quotes.
  1. "They call me cool Kimmy cause I like to rap."
  2. "Pinot noir, caviar. Pinot noir, midsize car."
  3. "Make sure there's fresh flowers in the panic room."
  4. "He's just my friend, 'Kaiser Sosay'."
    Hilarious reference to Keyser Söze from the Kevin Spacey classic Unusual Suspects
  5. "Straight men don't drink through straws. It's like sucking a leprechaun's dick."
  6. "Am I dressed alright?" "The answer to that has never been yes..."
  7. "Now, if being bad at math is against the law well then lock me up...but you better lock up Bob from the CostRite too cause he gives worse change than Obama!"
  8. "If you hadn't talked me down from my bunker madness, I'd still think I was Hulk Hogan!"
  9. "Kimmy Schmidt...I think of you as the Paul McCartney of the mole women. Why is that?"
  10. "You always thought you were better than us, like that stuck up owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial."
  11. "If God wanted women to talk, he wouldn't have made their mouths look so much like their privates."
    Jon Hamm is always necessary.