Alternatives to Valentine's Day

Let's have fun this weekend!
  1. Gal-entine's Day
    A classic for the single ladies! You're all in Sex and the City, but no one is Miranda!
  2. Pal-entine's Day
    Where my bros at?! All the females with boyfriends are gonna be like "Dang. Wish I was with one of those guys in the large group of men! They are loud and so carefree!"
  3. Fallon-tine's Day
    Spend the night watching this ass kisser play games with celebs. His ring finger is gross from being an alcoholic and falling down a lot! 2016!
  4. Gallon-tine's Day
    Show your strength as a single person and eat a gallon of ice cream. Buy your significant other a few gallons of gas. Up to you! DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?!
  5. Shallow Hal-entine's Day
    Watch offensively fat Gwyneth fall in love with heartthrob Jack Black! This movie is weird as hell, guys.
  6. Salad-tine's Day
    There are many salads to eat. Caesar, fruit, Cobb, wedge, pasta, etc. Treat yourself and your fellow man to a salad. Or sexually toss someone's! Why not? People love it.
  7. Tim Allen-tine's Day
    "To Infinity and Beyond"! The Santa Clause? Galaxy Quest? 35 seasons of Home Improvement? Find a date or stay in alone to celebrate one heck of a career!
  8. Golden Corral-entine's Day
    Did someone say a chain restaurant I've never been to and know nothing about?! Meet you there!