Alternatives to Valentine's Day
Let's have fun this weekend!
- •Gal-entine's DayA classic for the single ladies! You're all in Sex and the City, but no one is Miranda!
- •Pal-entine's DayWhere my bros at?! All the females with boyfriends are gonna be like "Dang. Wish I was with one of those guys in the large group of men! They are loud and so carefree!"
- •Fallon-tine's DaySpend the night watching this ass kisser play games with celebs. His ring finger is gross from being an alcoholic and falling down a lot! 2016!
- •Gallon-tine's DayShow your strength as a single person and eat a gallon of ice cream. Buy your significant other a few gallons of gas. Up to you! DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?!
- •Shallow Hal-entine's DayWatch offensively fat Gwyneth fall in love with heartthrob Jack Black! This movie is weird as hell, guys.
- •Salad-tine's DayThere are many salads to eat. Caesar, fruit, Cobb, wedge, pasta, etc. Treat yourself and your fellow man to a salad. Or sexually toss someone's! Why not? People love it.
- •Tim Allen-tine's Day"To Infinity and Beyond"! The Santa Clause? Galaxy Quest? 35 seasons of Home Improvement? Find a date or stay in alone to celebrate one heck of a career!
- •Golden Corral-entine's DayDid someone say a chain restaurant I've never been to and know nothing about?! Meet you there!