SPOILER ALERT...I should not have been chosen to represent my school.
  1. •
    Truthfully, I did not study my list of words hard enough. That's on me. But hear me out!
  2. •
    My mom made me dinner and said I was allowed to watch TV before we had to leave our house to head to the spelling bee.
    It was Salute Your Shorts. Perhaps it dumbed me down a bit? Oh, that Donkey Lips...incorrigible!
  3. •
    I was dressed in a sweater vest. I started feeling nervous because I never dressed so fancy. This must be a big deal...
  4. •
    Assuming we were heading to my elementary school, you can imagine my surprise when my mom's station wagon pulled into a San Fernando Valley college.
    No home court advantage...There were adults walking around! 19 year old adult women!
  5. •
    We walk into the theater and it is hopping in there! My mom takes out her video camera.
    I don't want to be here. This isn't fun. I'm not prepared.
  6. •
    Turns out there are spelling bees for grades 1st-8th.
    Maybe that'll buy me some time to look over my list of words...
  7. •
    Nope, 1st graders spell first.
  8. •
    My fellow spellers and I are invited onstage. The audience goes "Awww!"
    I'm embarrassed
  9. •
    There are only three of us! Nowhere to hide. And they are both girls.
    Girls mature earlier than boys! Unfair! And one is Asian! C'mon...I had no shot.
  10. •
    Girl who goes first (not Asian) total misspelled the word "castle"
    In all honesty, that's a shit word to get. Poor kid.
  11. •
    I'm up next. New word.
  12. •
    "Quinn, your word...is..."pony".
    Oh, I got a shot!
  13. •
    Time slows, I head to the mic...I start spelling.
  14. •
  15. •
  16. •
    Soooo, at this point in the word, I lock eyes with a kid the grade above me at my school. He is representing our 2nd grade class.
    He's smart. And old.
  17. •
    This fucking kid SHAKES HIS HEAD AT ME.
    Wait...I'm already wrong?! There is no "o" in the word "pony"?!
  18. •
    I panic! I decide to correct my mistake...
  19. •
    "I mean! P-N-Y. Pony!"
  20. •
    The audience groans and my heart sinks and I feel like throwing up.
  21. •
    I spelled "pony" without the "O".
    Incorrect it turns out.
  22. •
    Now, Asian girl gets the word "shell" which she just totally nails.
  23. •
    She wins. We are all ushered off the stage.
    I get a participation certificate. Humiliating.
  24. •
    I have to face my mother who hugs me and says I did a good job.
  25. •
    I try to blame the mistake on the older kid from my school...my mom nods and totally understands.
    Sweet sweet woman
  26. •
    She buys me an ice cream cone from McDonald's on the way home.
    That vanilla cone is still #1
  27. •
    When we get home, my dad and my two older brothers are waiting to hear how it went.
  28. •
    My mom's response: "Oh my god, you have to see this!!"
    I forgot my mom had her video camera! Nooooooo!
  29. •
    I cry myself to sleep that night, hearing my family laughing hysterically with "Pony...P-O...I mean, P-N-Y, Pony." playing on loop.
  30. •
    Mom's not that sweet it turns out...
  31. •
    I never spelled in public again.