Movies I Can't Believe My Parents Took Me to as a Child

I was born in 1987. I shouldn't have seen these in the theater. BUT I DID.
  1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
    Holy moly! This night really sticks out in my mind. Bad words, blood, guns, guys in boxes who are sex slaves, drug overdoses...you name it, this 7 year old saw it on the big screen. It took my mom over an hour, but she walked me out and drove me home. I think she just didn't like the movie.
  2. Casino (1995)
    Oh yeah! This movie is dark. Sharon Stone gave me a public little boy erection. There is a sex scene with her! I remember thinking that guy from "Home Alone" is a lot different in this movie. He's the one having sex with Sharon Stone. From behind. How does that work? I had questions!!!
  3. The Usual Suspects (1995)
    Wait...what happened? Who was the guy?
  4. Clueless (1995)
    The Mann Theaters in Tarzana. Happy 20th, you beautiful classic. A movie that had jokes about Valley kids in it. I was so honored and so young. Thanks for taking me to this one, parents.
  5. Jerry Maguire (1996)
    This was super embarrassing because my parents and I were stopped by the parents of Colleen (a girl from my elementary school class) while we were all walking in. Colleen wasn't allowed to see it. "Are you sure Quinn's old enough?". Turns out there's a scene where Tom Cruise is told to "Never stop fucking" his fiancé. I'll never forget the looks I got from Colleen's dad from a few rows away. He couldn't believe I just saw that. We had a connection.
  6. Private Parts (1997)
    My mom always listened to Howard when she drove me to school in the morning. Of course she'd take me his movie! A woman had an orgasm on a subwoofer. Woah! Boobs everywhere! I'm 10! Eating Milk Duds!
  7. Titanic (1997)
    My mom woke me up on a school day and said I wasn't going to school today. "We're going to the Chinese Theater to see Titanic and get lunch"...I almost cried while typing this. My mom has always really loved spending her time with me. Thanks, mommy.
  8. American Pie (1999) and South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)
    These movies came out back-to-back weekends and my dad took me. I learned what a clitoris was! Haven't found one since. They probably aren't real.