Various Ways People Tell Me I Drink Too Much Coffee

An everyday occurrence. Your words are not going to encourage me to actually stop drinking coffee. Accept me as the coffee fueled being that I am.
  1. "You're probably going to have a heart attack this week."
    Really? Well, thanks for the warning.
  2. "You're going to die, at like, 35, from like heart failure or something."
    That's really sweet of you to say! Thanks for that prediction.
  3. "I'm doing a caffeine cleanse! You should try it."
    Hahah, that's never going to happen.
  4. "The amount of coffee you drink honestly concerns me."
    I feel honoured that my beverage choices take up so much space in your thoughts. Does it really keep you up at night?
  5. "That's really not healthy for you."
    It's better than the amount of Red Bull and diet soda you drink.
  6. "Oh, honey, I think you might have a problem."
    At least it's not drugs.