I LIVE IN BROOKLYN BUT I DON'T

  1. 1.
    Have a beard.
    I'm a lady!
  2. 2.
    Make my own beer.
  3. 3.
    Ride a fixed gear bike.
    There is no bike, and if there were, it sure as hell would have brakes.
  4. 4.
    Grow things on my roof.
    It's a rental, and I am barely keeping my house plants alive.
  5. 5.
    I live in Greenpoint, not in an episode of Girls.
  6. 6.
    Live near Roberta's.
  7. 7.
    Go to warehouse parties.
    I'm not invited.
  8. 8.
    Know how to paint/sculpt/throw (clay?)/ride a skateboard.
  9. 9.
    Have any tattoos.