1. I read your essay about him. Two years ago. I still think about it all the time.
  2. I'm sorry he was that way to you, too.
  3. I feel like I made him that way.
  4. When it started, he didn't crave being tied up--he wanted to DO the tying up.
  5. I went along with it. It was my first relationship. It was my first any-and-everything.
  6. But I was scared.
  7. He was different when he was in this headspace. And he was so big and I was so small.
  8. So small, and so scared.
  9. But I couldn't lose him.
  10. So I reversed it.
  11. Took on the role of power, even though he held all the power.
  12. I altered his arousal.
  13. I hated every second of it but at least I wasn't afraid for my life.
  14. The look on his face when you called him a bitch? I used I see that face when I closed my eyes, years after we were through. Sometimes even still.
  15. To hear that what I did to him carried on makes me sad. For me, for you, for his fiancée.
  16. I'm sorry.