Bad Explanations From My Landlord

  1. Just kick water into the porch drain to clear it so it doesn't flood your apartment when it rains!
  2. Just don't plug in two appliances in your kitchen at the same time if you don't want the circuit to blow!
  3. Oh, the ceiling crumbled from a leak upstairs and now your carpet is moldy? That's normal!
  4. The sink is fine—it just doesn't really work? That's no problem!
  5. Just twist the light bulb if it goes out!
  6. The heat does in your apartment! (Six weeks later...) ...oops!
  7. I can't send someone to fix that when you're not home because of your cat (we don't have a cat...)