1. Has committed to a beard
    Not a little scruff, an actual beard that doesn't rip off my skin when we smooch
  2. Went through a Punk phase at some point in his youth
    Also probably owned a skateboard. Might still own a skateboard.
  3. Doesn't own a car.
    Not for environmental reasons, but for poverty reasons.
  4. Funny boys
    Boys that make you laugh are the best
  5. Comics
    This gets a separate bullet point because boys who are funny and boys who do comedy as their career are two separate entities. There was a phase in my life where I kept saying, "Rachel, stop dating comics," and then still only dated comics.
  6. Manchildren who don't have their shit together even though they're many years older than I am.
  7. Has pierced ears and/or tattoos
  8. Feminists
    Pretty important always
  9. "Artists" who don't have day jobs.
  10. Has blue or green eyes
  11. Has bad eyesight and therefore wears glasses
    Glasses are not just for show/hipster. I like my guys real blind.