How I Found Out He Had a FiancÉe the Whole Time

  1. We met 4th of July at a house in Venice Beach that both of our friend groups had wandered into.
  2. He was 6'6, blonde hair, startlingly light blue eyes, perfect jawline, the most muscular body I'd ever seen in person without it being disturbing.
    I define disturbing as when the veins are popping out of someone's neck and/or arms.
  3. I...well, I looked like this.
  4. He paid no attention to the model-esque girl at the house who literally tried sticking her ass in his face. He was laser focused on me.
  5. And I just kept thinking why is this Ken doll going for me?
  6. He was in the army. His whole family had been. An engineer of some sort. He'd been in Iraq, and was being deployed to Afghanistan in three months.
  7. We separated from our friends and wandered the streets of Venice, talking about our lives and making out against the walls of strangers' houses.
  8. He told me about the scar above his eye, from a high school soccer accident. About his 20 year old sister who had just gotten married, and his brother's cerebral palsy. His dreams of finishing his masters, and getting a degree to practice international law. The marathons he'd run all over the world.
  9. He picked me a purple flower from someone's hedges because hours earlier, I had told him purple was my favorite color.
  10. We were straight out of a fucking romcom.
  11. At 4:30am, we ended up on the beach and sat down on some chairs that turned out to be private property, but Adolphus, the 47-year-old Italian owner of the property, didn't mind. He was a self-proclaimed "sex shaman" and decided he would tell us our future.
  12. Adolphus proceeded to give my guy detailed and explicit instructions on how to make love to me. He then did a vivid reenactment of the time his wife broke his penis. Adolphus predicted that my guy and I would have intense sexual chemistry. He didn't believe we had only met 6 hours earlier.
  13. As we left Adolphus to head back, I jokingly asked my guy if he was married or something. He was significantly older than I was, and I had a weird feeling about it. He laughed it off, and told me no; marriage wasn't something that had come up for him yet.
  14. We did not have sex, but I wanted to leave before I was too tempted, and at 6am, he sent me home in a cab, giving me that look like he loved me as we said goodbye.
  15. For the next several days, we tried to make plans but they kept falling through. I knew he was leaving for Europe for three weeks, but then would be back in LA. Our night had been so textbook romantic comedy, that I had to imagine this was the real deal.
  16. He told me when he got back he wanted to take me to dinner. On a proper date.
  17. Since I was 22 and an idiot, I took that all to be a good sign, and promptly added him on Facebook before heading off to work. He wasn't hard to find because I knew his entire back story, down to his siblings' names and what college he'd gone to.
  18. But then, absolutely nothing. Which I thought was weird. Even weirder, when I figured out he'd blocked me.
  19. My roommate and I went on to search him again (using her account). The trip to Europe? With a beautiful blonde girl. And then I noticed the huge rock on her left hand. In every single picture.
  20. I thought he had been a gentleman, but a thorough investigation of his Facebook pointed to anything but that. 💍💍💍
  21. (@stars sorry if this isn't as exciting as the lead-in from my last list seemed to be!)