1. I'm on a new insurance plan so I needed to find a new primary care doctor.
  2. Found someone near my house through my plan's website. Her practice was her and her daughter, who specializes in headaches, and since I have frequent headaches, I thought it would be a good match.
  3. Nope.
  4. I get there and everyone is speaking Russian. I do not speak Russian.
  5. I got called back pretty quickly, and then waited in the room for a while. That's pretty typical.
  6. When the doctor finally comes in, she starts to ask me questions but also maybe doesn't totally know how to translate? Made me nervous.
  7. Then, the nurse comes in very frantically and starts speaking in Russian to the doctor, who then literally runs out of my room mid-question.
  8. Then I wait for a while. The nurse runs back and forth a lot.
  9. I look around the exam room. The cleaning schedule is from 2015.
  10. When the doctor comes back, she doesn't wash her hands.
  11. The nurse comes back in again with some papers. They talk again and then she leaves.
  12. The doctor finishes her questions. Doesn't weigh or measure me.
  13. Some of the tools in the room don't have heads, so she has to grab them from a different exam room.
  14. I do not have much confidence.
  15. Then she tells the nurse to draw my blood.
  16. The frantic nurse.
  17. She runs around some more, then goes into another room. The woman with the patient came out and stood by me. She was older, said hello, told me I was beautiful, and then said a bunch of stuff in Russian. I nodded with a blank look on my face.
  18. A while later, he nurse scurries me down the hall to the lab.
  19. As she's drawing my blood, she said "Oops, I made the hole too big."
  20. WHAT?????
  21. I'd been fasting for the blood test and at this point, it's 11:30 and I'm dying.
  22. Then she gives me a cup to pee in, but there's no toilet paper in the bathroom.
  23. It eventually gets replaced and I pee as fast as I can, check out, then BOOK it out of there.
  24. 🙄🙄🙄