People I Shouldn't Have Dated Part 2

Part 1 was my very first list! But I have dated a lot of people that have gifted me with ridiculous stories so...
  1. The guy who had "Dave Chappelle" tattooed on his back, except it had happened when he was blackout drunk and his tattoo artist was on heroin, so it just looked vaguely like a black dude in a sweater.
    He was so hot though. So hot.
  2. The "acting coach" (problematic on so many levels) who was from my hometown, had gone to my best friend's high school, and was, with 98% likelihood, at my Bat Mitzvah because he worked for the DJ at that venue that year.
    He flipped out when I asked my best friend about him and she knew him and said I shouldn't date him. She'd been my BFF for 11 years and I spent one evening getting vegan pizza with this dude. I think I'll take the person who knows me best's word over yours, man.
  3. The guy who was definitely from a foreign country, but wouldn't tell me which one.
    Super shady.
  4. The grad student who designed cars and was the most pretentious person with whom I have ever conversed.
    We met on New Years Eve and I went home with him simply because I couldn't get a cab. Nothing happened, and I snuck out of his house at 7am with a massive hangover. If I hadn't left him a note with my number, I never would have had to deal with any of it! Rookie mistake.
  5. The bodybuilder who told me within 10 minutes of our first date that our huge age difference didn't matter because his parents were 12 years apart and they had been married for 35 years.
    He was super serious super fast. We had only spent the length of one cup of tea together.
  6. The guy who had the same speech patterns and mannerisms as my former roommate, and just reminded me of everything I now hated about him.
    Also very pretentious.